


A Rose By Any Other Name

by JokerGothNerd



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: AU, Christmas, Christmas Party, Costume Parties & Masquerades, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Highschool AU, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, Inspired by Romeo and Juliet, M/M, Romeo and Juliet References, Secret Santa, Star-crossed, i spent 4 months furiously typing this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-01 21:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16773658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JokerGothNerd/pseuds/JokerGothNerd
Summary: When a Shakespeare club divides over their interpretations of Romeo and Juliet, Oswald and Edward must find their way to get though their differences and to run away from Gotham forever. Now, do you think you remember the story like this?





	1. The Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cosmicetti](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=cosmicetti).



> This is for the DCTV Secret Santa, and this gift is for https://cosmicetti.tumblr.com/  
> Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! xxx

On the Winter afternoon of December 20th, a small selection of the Gotham High School students wandered towards an abandoned classroom on the Eastern side of school, placing coats and scarves on the backs of chewed-up chairs, and retrieving the same worn-out book from their backpacks. They prided themselves knowing they were the school’s Shakespearean club, but to any other student, they were just a bunch of nerds. After squashing together several tables, they had two larger ones onto which they divided themselves upon, splitting into two even groups. Another minute passed before the last walked through the door: Ms Mooney. She had seen the eagerness in their eyes when she’d presented her English classes with ‘Othello’, and she had seen the want to delve further into the analysis of the Elizabethan texts. Never had Fish Mooney been so proud of a set of students who really were excited to learn, rather than waiting for the lunch bell.

“Good afternoon, do you all have your plays with you?” a short nod from each teen followed, “Good, then let us continue ‘Romeo And Juliet’ - Shakespeare’s most famous play.” She threw down her thick fur coat, and assigned each student a role to read aloud. On one side of the room, sat those Ms Mooney had nicknamed the ‘Montagues’ (she thought, as most teachers do, that it was hilarious). They were perhaps the more righteous of the two sets, composed of James Gordon, Harvey Bullock, Edward Nygma, Kristen Kringle, Lee Tompkins, Cyrus Gold - more commonly referred to as ‘Butch’ -, Victor Zsasz, Bruce Wayne, and Jeremiah Valeska. Most of these particular students had another love for criminology, a few liked their chemistry, however the other two (Butch and Zsasz) weren’t as keen. However, the ‘Capulets’ were far more… violent: Barbara Kean, Tabitha Galavan, Ivy Pepper, Oswald Cobblepot, Victor Fries, Jervis Tetch, Jonathan Crane, Bridget Pike, and Jerome Valeska (the other, more outgoing Valeska twin). Most of them kept to themselves, but Barbara was far more likely to start a fight if you gave her a funny look. All in all, they were the strangest group of people you could ever come across. And you certainly wouldn’t expect them to be part of a literature club during lunch.

Half an hour passed by, as they read the final parts of the play. “Okay, now that we have finished reading, I would like to do a few sessions on analysis. My first question being, to discuss on your tables, what are the morals of this tale in ten words or less. Go,” Ms Mooney grinned, pushing a fork into her salad bowl. While she knew there would be slight disagreements, never would anyone have foreseen how badly this question would affect her students for the next few days.

“Time’s up: who wants to go first? James,” Ms Mooney nodded towards him.

“Well, Miss, we think that it is a cautionary tale of stupidity, youth, and shallow lust,” he decided, sitting back as he finished.

“Very nice. Yes, I think that is a wonderful summary. And, Barbara?”

The young girl gave a smug smile and said the words “Actually, it’s a beautiful tragedy about poisonous hatred, conquered by love.”

“Well, well, well. It seems both of you have a fantastic overview of the play.” The whole group were stunned into silence for a moment.

“But Ms Mooney,” Tabitha spoke up, “Who was right?”

“You’re both right.”

“But who’s more right?” Zsasz asked.

Ms Mooney laughed, and pondered the thought for a moment. Only later would she regret saying: “Who do you think is right?”

And that is how the tale of the two star-crossed lovers began.


	2. Act I

“I know hate is a strong word, but I do think of it when I think of a Montague,” Jonathan sneered at Jervis. They were stood outside the school entrance, waiting for one of their ‘Montagues’ to arrive. Ever since Ms Mooney named the groups that within the first sessions of the Shakespearean club, it had been used ever since. First to laugh at, now out of spite. “How I wish we could punch their lights out without being punished.”

“My dear Mr Crane, we must think about this legally, or else there is no gain,” Jervis replied, in that annoying rhyme, which he would only pause to read out lines in plays. “Well who should it be, but Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee,” he manically laughed as Lee and Butch approached them.

“One day, your head’s going to be too big for that ridiculous top hat. Or maybe it’ll be a lump on the melon that prevents it,” Lee taunted, before she took a swing at Jervis’ face, and Butch cracked his knuckles in Jonathan’s direction.

“Scrat, you two, before you end up with black eyes,” Butch deadpanned, looking directly at Jonathan, and then to Jervis who was getting back up as he rubbed his jaw. While two vs two was an equal fight, it was unfair to Crane and Tetch, the weaker side of the battle.

“What the hell are you doing?” another voice shouted from behind Butch, it was James, “Stop it. We’re going to get caught, and you know Mr Pennyworth will exclude you.” James put his arms out in between both sides - you know, like they do in the movies, as though that’s going to stop anything. The stand-off stayed like like until a different voice cropped up. One they knew all too well. One that was always ready to break a nose.

“You’re having a fight without me?”

Barbara Kean, Gotham High’s most notorious student, well known for being excluded regularly, and yet kept due to her frankly incredible IQ level. Without much warning, she charged at Butch, managing to deck him.

“Stop! Stop this now!” screamed a thick London accent - not a posh London accent, more like one from the east end instead (could have been worse, after all, the Liverpudlian accent is not the most graceful). Running towards the squabbling group was the Headmaster: Mr Pennyworth. Well known for his strict rules, everyone knew they wouldn’t get off lightly. “Barbara Kean, let go of Cyrus! And Leslie, give Jervis his hat back. This is ridiculous, you should all be ashamed of yourselves,” he turned to look each student in the eye, “It is unsafe for this to be happening in a school. People are getting hurt. That bloody Shakespeare club isn’t helping, and I think it may be time to stop running it, hm?”

Everyone in school knew how divided that club was, everyone knew. And everyone knew who the students in the club were. Mr Pennyworth believed it to be the root of the violence, and he wasn’t about to let the school inspectors downgrade the place because of these barbarians.

“This is your final warning. If I catch anyone in a physical fight again, you will be excluded. Maybe even permanently. Now, don’t we have places to be?”

Each side, in complete silence, turned their separate ways. After a few moments, and once they were out of Pennyworth’s earshot, Lee asked, “Has anyone seen Ed? He was supposed to be helping me with my chemistry homework, but I couldn’t find him earlier.”

James laughed, “He’s probably off pining for Kristen.”

“Kristen? Kristen Kringle?”

“Yes, that Kristen, do we know any other?” James asked, earning a shake of Lee’s head, “Well, he’s madly in love with her, but there’s only one problem: she’s vowed to stay away from all relationships after what Tom did to her.”

They reached the doors of the English building, waiting to get inside before continuing.

“Yes, well that’s what cheating and abuse does to a girl. At least she kicked the shit out of him for it,” Lee giggled, as they arrived at their English Literature lesson with Ms Essen.

* * *

“Heya Ozzie.”

“Valeska.”

In the library, trying his very best to study with a lunatic on his shoulder, was Oswald. At the very best of times, Jerome - literally Jeremiah’s evil twin - was barely tolerable. His adoration of bright colours made him stand out, especially next to Oswald who just wore black (purple if you’re lucky). “Whatcha readin’?” Jerome asked, who was now hanging over the other side of the table, attempting to read it upside down.

“The Great Gatsby,” Oswald refused to look up at the madman.

“Oh come on, Oz! At least look at me, please? It’s difficult to court someone if they won’t look at you, especially on the last day of school before Christmas.” Oswald started laughing. It began quiet, but got louder and louder until it was scaring Jerome. “What?” For someone who always had a smile on his face (which is super annoying) he didn’t seem to understand the joke. Which was a nice change.

“Really? You want to ‘court’ me?” Oswald even went to the effort of making quotation marks with his fingers to prove a point. “You know what? I’m going to give you a chance.”

This caught Jerome off guard. It wasn’t necessarily that he didn’t find it funny, or interpret it as a joke. He shut up for once in his life and started to listen properly rather than talk through everything (you know like that one kid who won’t shut up during class, and the teacher says “If you know so much about it, why don’t you come and teach it,” but Jerome actually would get up and start teaching it).

“Tonight, there is a Christmas masquerade ball being held at the Iceberg Lounge. I’ll give you a chance, but you have to leave me alone for the rest of the day. Please,” Oswald pointedly didn’t blink, staring straight through into Jerome’s soul - this only made Jerome smile as he tried to conceal a shudder. He quickly nodded, walking out of the library immediately. Unbeknownst to everyone, Jerome’s real crush was elsewhere, but as though he was ever going to admit that to anyone. Ever. Their friends knew Jerome was only teasing Oswald, it was just fun to watch him squirm.

* * *

“Tabby? Oh, there you are!” Barbara shouted, walking towards her girlfriend who was just leaving through the school gates, “I need a huge favour from you. So, this is the list of people who are invited to the Christmas ball tonight, and I need to go and tell them.” She handed over the list to Tabitha, who graciously accepted the paper.

“So what do I get for doing this?” she smirked knowingly.

“You know exactly what you get. Pretty please?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m on it. See you later sweetie,” Tabitha kissed Barbara’s cheek, and made her way towards the streets of Gotham. While Tabitha’s knowledge of the map of Gotham was superior, her understanding of Barbara’s handwriting was not. The chicken scrawl could only be translated by very few people, fortunately (or unfortunately, considering how you look at it) Tabitha noticed someone walk past her who could definitely read her girlfriend’s hieroglyphics with no problem: “Hey, Ed!”

He spun around, almost knocking Jim, who he’d been walking with, over. “Oh! Hello Tabitha, what is it?” Edward was confused. They weren’t on the same side. They didn’t speak regularly, so why now?

“I’m really sorry, but I need help deciphering Barbara’s handwriting,” Tabitha explained while Jim snorted, “It’s for the ball tonight. And I know you can read it, so would you help?”

Edward paused, looking to Jim for help, who just shrugged his shoulders saying “It’s up to you. I won’t say anything if you do.”

“Alright then. So, what? Is it the guest list?” Ed asked, taking the paper off her, retrieving a pen, and scribbling down the names in a readable font.

“Yeah. Could you not tell Barbara about this? It’s just that she thinks I can read her writing, and the whole ’sworn enemies’ thing too, you know?” Tabitha pleaded.

“It’s okay, here I’ve done it. See you after Christmas,” Edward handed the list back, and continued walking, while Tabitha thanked them and walked in the other direction.

About ten minutes had passed before either Ed or Jim spoke. Both knew that they shouldn’t have helped, but Tabitha wasn’t the worst of the Capulets, so it wasn’t the end of the world.

“Kristen’s going,” Edward stated, just as they got to his building.

“Oh, Ed,” Jim sighed, “We can’t do anything about it. We aren’t invited.”

“On the contrary,” Ed smiled, with that wonderful glint in his eye that meant they were both going to be seriously injured if this went wrong, “Meet me back here at eight PM. Bring a mask. We shall go to the ball.” Oh crap. He was making Disney references. Jim knew this wasn’t going to end well.

* * *

It was half an hour until the masquerade began properly. Nine PM, the invitation said. Nine PM. Oswald couldn’t wait for this to be over. The suit, which he would only call a ‘costume’, was becoming uncomfortable; he’d decided to wear an onyx-style gem encrusted suit, with a white shirt, and a jet-black feathered mask that had been moulded into a beak. When Oswald was much younger, he had fallen from the second floor of a building, which resulted in a broken leg. However, due to his families poverty - which they had now recovered from and were doing rather well (if you couldn’t tell from the ‘onyx-style gem encrusted suit’) - his parents couldn’t afford to have it fixed. And so it healed, but it healed in the position it was left in, leaving a terrible limp that led to his cruel nickname as ‘the penguin freak’, and now just ‘Penguin’. Despite all of this, Oswald chose to take it on, and was no longer taunted. Mainly because those who tried stopped a day or two later, usually the same day they came in covered head-to-toe in bruises and cuts. Strange.

“There you are!” it was Ivy, running full speed towards him in an unsurprisingly green gown, “Victor’s been looking for you.”

“What does he want?” Oswald almost spit. He and Victor weren’t the closest of friends.

“No idea, here he is, ask him yourself,” Ivy gestured behind him before taking off in the opposite direction.

“Victor, what in Hell’s name are you wearing?” Oswald laughed.

It appeared… robotic? Silver, definitely silver. “That’s not why I wanted to find you. I hear Jerome has been… courting you,” Victor stumbled on his words. His formality had always been an issue, but unamusing it was not, “It would be useful having another power couple, like Barbara and Tabitha, around.” Oswald guffawed at this.

“Jerome?! Oh my goodness, wow! You great big idiot, he’s not in love with me. It’s so obvious, you need to watch him. And why on earth would I want to date that madman? Also, why is it everyone is using the word ‘court’ instead of flirt? This is modern day society, not Elizabethan England,” Oswald mocked. Victor didn’t find it funny. It was as though someone had eaten his last jammy dodger, but left the packet in the biscuit (or cookie, if you’re American) tin, so no one would think to buy another packet, and you could tell because the best before date was 6 months ago, and Victor had been saving it for a special occasion.

“Oswald, please. Would at least consider him as an option?”

“Fine,” Oswald spoke through gritted teeth. He had no idea why Fries even stayed with the Capulets. It was stupid, no one got along with him.

* * *

At exactly one minute to eight, Edward appeared at the foot of his building, complete with a very sparkly green suit and mask. “Well, if no one knew you were gay before, they will certainly know now.” That voice could only suggest that Harvey had tagged along with Jim - any chance to get laid and he was there in an instant.

“Harvey,” Jim’s tone of voice threatened the consequences without even looking at his face.

“What? I’m not wrong. I think he's deceiving himself.”

It was perfectly obvious that the other two had panicked when told they were going to a Christmas party at such short notice: Jim was wearing his white knight costume from some drama production a few years ago, and Harvey… Harvey was dressed as a something that looked like a vampire. Very short notice. Likely to be his costume from Hallowe'en.

“Whatever, at least we’ll fit in. You know they’ll all have fancy, and more importantly, proper outfits,” Ed explained as he led the group towards the Iceberg Lounge, “I wonder what Kristen in going as. It doesn’t matter though, she isn’t dating anymore…”

“Oh, Ed,” Jim and Harvey sighed in unison. People seemed to be saying this a lot lately, and it was starting to really annoy Edward.

There was an awkwardly long pause from all three of them, until Harvey had an idea, “Hey, did you two ever hear about this old legend: some elf-fairy-thing is supposed to give us our deepest desires in the forms of dreams. Anyway, I had this really weird dream last night-”

“No!” Jim yelled, covering Harvey’s mouth with his hand, “I do not want to hear this, and I don’t think Ed does either. Besides, that’s the legend of Queen Mab. It famously showed up in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, but carried on in later literature. In fact, Percy Bysshe Shelley wrote a nine canto poem about her.” Even the cats and the rats which previously littered the streets had run away in fear they’d be bored to death.

“Yes, I remember. Now, we can carry on this all night, or we can sneak into that party. What do you say?” Edward asked, as they could see the neon lighting of the club.

* * *

After an hour, Edward was close to giving up on his mission. He hadn't seen Kristen, but he had seen plenty of glitter; he was right, he did fit in. Maybe green was too bright though. Never the matter, the only person to converse with him was the waiter passing over a drink. This couldn't have gone worse. Well, it could, but Ed liked to think it couldn't. He stretched his wrist out, checking the time, and began to consider heading home, until Edward noticed something - something sparkling in the Disco lights (yes, they had Disco lights! We could only dream of those in this day in age. A cringe-worthy dream, but a dream). Wait. It was someone. Interesting. It was only when the person removed their mask that he realised it was none other than Oswald Cobblepot. Complete with feathers. Unbeknownst to everyone else, Edward had a tiny, itsy bitsy crush on Cobblepot - despite being infatuated with Kristen. This was the last time Edward Nygma ever really thought of Kristen, as the obsession for her died down, while the heat in his heart grew for Oswald. Never before had he seen the other student in that light, really smiling rather than that awful fake one he did. It was truly mesmerising.

“Hey, Leprechaun! What you staring at?” At a rather bad time, Harvey was passing by with some chick in red on his arm. Correction: some drunk chick.

“Huh? Oh! I was just looking at… Penguin,” Edward explained, using the stupid nickname so Harvey wouldn't realise Ed had feelings for him.

“Really?” The nickname didn't work. “Never thought you'd be so r-rebellious,” Harvey stumbled on his words.

“Hey!” Both men heard the voice over the music, but everyone else seemed completely oblivious. It wasn't a happy 'hey’; it certainly was an angry 'hey’. To Edward's left was Barbara Kean, fitted with a flowing white dress and mask, he could just about tell she was supposed to be a swan. And if they were unlucky, she would break their arms. The resemblance was unfortunate. “What are you doing here! Caps weren't invited-”

“Barbara! Give over!” A robotic thing grabbed her arm, it must have been Fries by the tone of voice, “Remember, if Pennyworth finds out there was a spat, we are all screwed. Don't threaten our Shakespeare club!”

A moment passed.

“Fine,” she grumbled, storming off, presumably to find Tabitha, if they knew her well enough. Fries followed suit. That was close. Too close. Edward nearly voiced that particular thought to his almost-friend, when Harvey took one look at the bar and nothing could have stopped him from moving closer until he reached the whiskey.

“And who might you be?” a different voice made Ed jump, “You are one of the few people I can’t quite figure out. But you look familiar.”

Apparently, Oswald had seen the commotion and his curiosity had gotten the better of him. The taller man could feel his heart starting to racing, never in his life had he experienced such a feeling, such an intensity. “What is he that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright or the carpenter?” Edward asked. He had a certain, bizarre love for riddles that no one understood, and it really hit his popularity.

“A gravedigger! Ah, so you must be in the Shakespeare club at school,” Oswald guessed, getting the right answer surprisingly quickly, “Do I get a prize for getting it correct?” he smirked, leaning upwards.

“What’s the point if there isn’t a prize,” Edward moved in, earing a peck on the lips from Oswald. He couldn’t stop the Cheshire-Cat grin on his face afterwards. They both stared in silence into each others’ eyes, but ultimately, it had to be ruined.

“Ozzie,” A girl in a bejewelled set of wings alongside an emerald green dress tapped the Penguin’s shoulder, receiving a death stare from him, “Bridget’s looking for you. She’s over by the bar.”

“Fine!” he screeched at the girl, and then turned to Ed, “It was lovely meeting you.” And off he went, with the girl in green towing behind. Why did all good things end?

Once Oswald had spoken to Bridget, something about her going home and to hold the fort, he sought out Ivy to interrogate her about the mysterious Riddle-boy. “You!” he grabbed his friend’s arm, dragging her to an emptier part of the Iceberg Lounge. “The man I was talking to be, do you know who he was?” Oswald stared into her eyes like a maniac.

“The dude in green glitter? Oh, come on: wasn’t it obvious?” Ivy snatched her arm back, “That was Edward Nygma.”


	3. Act II

As the party grew closer to midnight, Jim and Harvey began to frantically search for Edward - the longer it took, the more they panicked that he may have been caught. “It’s no use, Harvey. Maybe he went home,” Jim suggested loudly over the music. ‘Winter’s Tale’ had just come on for the third time that evening. Had they run out of songs that quickly? How was that possible? Even Harvey could think of at least fifteen without more than a moment’s thought.

“I think you’re right,” Harvey shouted, “Let’s get going, the longer we stay, the more likely people are to see through us.” And with that, the two men looked at each other, and promptly exited the building, failing to notice Edward scurrying off towards one of the terraces. Counting each one as he went, Ed finally found the correct house - and there was a light on in one of the second floor windows. But, before he could find a small stone to lob at the glass, a familiar figure appeared, making Edward panic, and hide behind a nearby bush. It was Oswald. He opened the window, took a glance at the street and began talking to himself: “Oh, Edward, my dear Edward. Why did you have to be on their side? Forget about that interpretation, and join me. Or, tell me you love me, and I’ll leave them.”

Ed had a choice here. He could speak up and confess his love, or he could keep listening in case it got better. He chose the latter. By the time Edward looked back up, Oswald had hold of a rose, and was slowly pulling the petals from it and allowing them to land on the road. “It’s only your compliance to your ‘Montagues’ that’s stopping me. Why does the interpretation divide us? I don’t understand why we can’t be together without a fuss…”

As clever as Edward Nygma may have been, he had never done such a stupid thing as he did next. He leapt out from behind the shrubbery, and yelled, “Tell me you love me, and I’ll choose you over them!”

“FUCK THAT!” Oswald screamed, tripping over something that made a very loud crashing noise. When he finally got back up, he replied, “What the hell did you have to do that for?!”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Are you alright?” Ed asked, sheepishly.

“I’ll live. You really shouldn’t be out here; if Barbara or Fries catches you, they’ll kill you,” he warned, “And never mind our parents and relatives...”

It struck Edward: “I-I never thought about that part before. Um.”

While many of the residents in Gotham were comfortable with the LGBTQ+ community, there were always going to be some that weren’t (assholes). The Nashton family were religious nutcases (I’d like to point out that not _all_ religious people are crazy, some are very nice, but these people weren’t) who enjoyed quoting the Bible at every opportunity and yelling obscenities at those they deemed ‘unholy’. On the other hand, Oswald lived with his step-mother, step-sister and step-brother. The Van Dahl family, who were not religious per say, instead just incredibly ignorant people who made fun of those who they believed didn’t fit in with the norms of society, a.k.a. Queer folk. They also hated Oswald. His wicked step-mother was dying to find an excuse good enough to get rid of him.

“Wait!” Edward shouted up, “I have an idea: we could run away. We could leave this place, all of it… we could go to Metropolis! I hear it’s lovely this time of year,” he laughed. Oswald considered this. It wasn’t as though he was very popular, no one to miss him. What harm could it do?

“There is one small problem, we have no money.”

“Oswald, you know I would do anything to be with you, right?” Ed asked, earning an eager nod, “What if we stole something? Something like Martha Wayne’s pearl necklace collection? It must be worth enough to get us a place in Metropolis, and you know there will always be someone willing to buy stolen goods for a decent price. What do you say?”

“Yes.” What? That was a little quick. And Oswald knew it. He didn’t have to weigh out the pros and cons of running away with Edward; he wanted to do this, and he wanted to do this now. “I’ll get Ivy to deliver you a message tomorrow. Until then,” Oswald spoke, smiling throughout. Both men waved as they departed, and Oswald immediately began to pack - but just enough that his step-family wouldn’t notice. Ed knew he would have to grab essentials when he returned home, but first there was a choice to make: should he tell Jim and Harvey?

* * *

Fish Mooney was comfortably enjoying hot coffee (spiked with whatever happened to be in that bottle, from the fridge, that morning) when none other than Ed burst through the school doors.

“My, my. Edward, dear, I know you love to learn, but you don’t have to come in during the holidays,” she laughed, “So, did you leave a book behind?”

Once he’d thrown his coat onto a table, Edward answered, “Actually, I have a favour to ask. A really big favour. And I need this to be kept between us.” His rosy cheeks began to die down, and the condensation on his glasses also began to clear.

“Teacher and student confidentiality - of course. Provided that it’s not something particularly… morbid,” she gestured for him to draw up a chair. “Go on.”

Edward had taken a great deal of time to think about this, asking her to take him and Oswald away from Gotham. She was the most reliant teacher, and the one who showed the most understanding out of all the staff. Edward remembered hearing a teacher joking to her once, that the they shouldn’t let their students realise how human their teachers were. His assumed this to be what started Fish Mooney becoming an easy person to come to with problems.

“Oswald and I are going to run away together. Unfortunately, it’s the only solution. Both of our families are incredibly homophobic, and believe that we are simply ill. We would be sent to Arkham. And- and I don’t want that. Metropolis is our best bet, but we need someone to take us, do you think-” Edward explained before Ms. Mooney jumped in the way of his monologue.

“Yes.”

“What? I thought you would want to report it, or tell our blood-relatives. Or, I don’t know,” he babbled.

“I have met your parents, and I think the safest thing is to get them out of the way. You are both old enough and wise enough to make these decisions,” Fish sipped at her coffee, smiling to herself. It was always fun to say what the students weren’t expecting. “I need you two to bring as much of your belongings tomorrow evening, and get them over to Metropolis - you’re lucky I have a friend who owes me a favour over there, and he happens to rent. He can get you a cheap, decent apartment.”

“Thank you so much, I don’t think we can ever repay this,” Ed grabbed his belongings and ran.

Edward never pictured it going so smoothly, he couldn’t wait to tell Oswald. This could so easily go according to plan - as long as no one else found out that they planned to run away. Now they just needed to get those pearls…

* * *

“Harvey, wait up!”

Harvey had walked onto the street when Jim ran up alongside his friend, arguably his best friend, and then tried to catch his breath. Unsuccessfully. “Harv-*breath*-eey, *breath* Ed *gulp-breath* not *breath* home!”

Not only did the statement not make sense, the hat Harvey was wearing was far too woolly so James may as well have spat gobbledygook. On their first day off for Christmas, Harvey had intended buying presents for his parents and, well, Jim. He did love his best friend, in a purely platonic way ('no homo’ and all that shite), and it was rare these days to find a strong male friendship. And that's what they had.

“Okay, Darth Vader. Cool your horses, just breathe. There we go. Now, try that again,” Harvey laughed, offering Jim some water.

“I’m fine. Ed didn’t go home last night. I went to get him this morning, and his mother thought he was with us. She’s going to kill him when he goes back. Oh, and Barbara left this for him,” Jim reached into his bag, and pulled out a scruffy note, which, after careful consideration, appeared to say _‘Nygma, if I see your face again, Pennyworth will throw us both out. Get out while you can. - Barbara’_. Unbeknownst to them, it was lucky Edward was getting out of Gotham. Barbara may have been small, but she wasn’t weak.

“Hey, what are you two doing?” Speak of the devil. He was just about to go Christmas shopping too. For Oswald. Wasn’t like he was going to be around for his parents and brother’s Christmas. Maybe Ed ought to get something for Ms. Mooney too.

Harvey straightened (har, har) himself up, “So, which chick did you leave with? Your father and I have been worried sick.” He put his arm around Jim before the three of them burst out guffawing.

“For your information, _Dad_ , I didn’t leave with anyone. I went home; I was tired,” Ed stuck his tongue out playfully.

“Er, Ed. I came to find you this morning, and your mother said she hadn’t seen you. Oh and you’re in for a treat,” and Jim pulled that odd face of when you lie, and someone says they believe you in a really doubtful way (eyebrows and lips stuck out slightly included).

“Oh crap.”

The three of them began walking to Gotham shopping centre (you know, that one where everyone buys their costumes) for gifts. Only, it would have gone to plan if Ivy and Tabitha hadn’t turned up. “What do you want?”

“Chillax dudes,” said Ivy, “We’re here for the beanpole. Need to borrow him for a minute. Don’t worry - Barbara didn’t send us. This isn’t a threat.” Her reassurance did not reassure Jim and Harvey, but the lack of reluctance on Ed’s behalf did.

“You two go on, I’ll catch up.”

Once both the jocks were out of ear-shot, Tabitha began talking quickly, “Okay, so Oswald said you were to tell us something vague. What is it? Before we are spotted by any of the others, preferably,” she hurried him, glancing frantically in each direction. She was utterly paranoid. What had happened?

“Tell him to meet me at Mooney’s, 6pm. Also, tell him to bring everything and not worry about money,” Edward babbled, and then almost immediately walked off, before anyone saw them. No one could know. Both he and Oswald could end up in serious trouble - and possibly be sent to Arkham.

Ivy threw her woollen clad arms into the frosty air, “Well, bye! Thanks for telling us!” she yelled, and turned to Tabitha, “He could have at least thanked us for taking the message.” They headed off in the direction of Oswald’s house, knowing Tabitha would have to keep going to find Barbara.

* * *

Ivy had been informed, by Oswald, that the door was open and to just let herself in - so, that’s exactly what she did. What? Did you really expect anything else?

“Hello? Ozzie?” she hollered through the hall.

“Upstairs!”

By the time she’d taken off her boots, coat, scarf and gloves, and then trudged up the stairway, Ivy was knackered. “Oswald,” she heaved, throwing herself onto his bed. Ivy hated sports, and everyone in the school knew it. She’d been given detention many times for simply refusing to take part in lessons. So it wasn’t surprising to Oswald that her stamina wasn’t very good.

“What did Ed say? And I could do to know quick, before Grace, Sasha and Charles get back,” Oswald interrogated.

“First: I want a drink.”

Despite the seemingly easy demand, he wasn’t having it, “Ivy. I need to know. Please.”

“Like I said, get me a drink,” Ivy have him a grin so big that it would put the Cheshire Cat to shame, “I don’t mind what drink, either.”

“Fine.”

Oswald limped down the stairs, and filled up one pint glass with lemonade. He added ice and a tiny umbrella otherwise she wouldn’t accept it. By the time he’d made his way back up to her, Ivy was going through Oswald’s CD collection, and reading them out loud to herself. He was unsure why Ivy was his friend, but Oswald needed that information. He stuck the glass in her face, “Now, spill.”

“That’s not a great idea to say when I’m holding a drink,” Ivy laughed, but continued because the look on his face made it obvious he wasn’t to be messed with, “Okay, so beanpole said to meet at Mooney’s at 6pm. And something ‘bout bringing everything. Happy?”

“Very.”

* * *

It read 17:58 on Edward’s watch, Oswald was nowhere to be seen - but, then again, he still had 2 more minutes. Ed’s nervousness grew dramatically: what if Oswald changed his mind? What if his parents, or Oswald’s step-family found out? What if Barbara found out? A myriad of things could go wrong here. “Hey! Ed!”

From about 10 feet away, Oswald was crunching through the thick blanket of snow.

Edward looked at his watch, “18:01, you’re late,” he laughed.

“Yeah, yeah, help me with this suitcase.” Between the two of them, they just about managed to drag the largest suitcase Oswald could find to Ms. Mooney’s car. She was stood, sipping something from a thermal flask, cloaked in her fur coat (which Edward really hoped was faux).

“Alright that’s everything,” Edward announced, after putting the last lot of belongings in the vehicle.

“And you two are absolutely sure about this, because there’s no going back,” their teacher warned, but with a curt nod from the pair of them, Fish knew they were aware of what they were doing, “Okay then. We’ll take these cases now, and then tomorrow evening you will be free.”


	4. Act III

“Where the hell is he?” Harvey shouted into empty space.

“No idea,” Jim called back, making Harvey swerve around, “But if Barbara finds him before we do, we’re all in for it.” He sighed. Why couldn’t Edward just be normal like the rest of them? Well, I say ‘normal’, but normal is boring, why bother? Still, Ed hadn’t been seen since after the Christmas shopping incident. Jim and Harvey had discussed what had gone on since Ed was talking to Ivy and Tabitha - they’re closest guess was something to do with frogs invading the school. It had been a particularly dull afternoon.

“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” a foul cackle was heard: Barbara, with Butch in tow. Which was interesting really, because Butch was after Tabitha, and everyone knew. Hmm. “Where is Edward Nygma? I need to talk to him about… homework,” she grinned, cracking her knuckles.

“Bull. We aren’t going to tell you - you’ll get us all expelled from school, and Pennyworth will end the Shakespeare club,” Harvey warned, “Plus! He did nothing wrong. Where’s your evidence?”

Barbara didn’t hesitate to advance on him before yet another familiar voice was shouting at them.

“Harvey!” Ed. He should have known better than to go near Barbara after the ball, she would beat him to a pulp. Didn’t stop him though, did it?

“You! You’re in for it!” she screamed in his face.

“But I don’t hate you. I have nothing against the Capulets.”

“What?” This was the very first time anyone had heard Barbara confused, she was always so confident in everything, but Edward’s statement could _possibly_ change things. Or not. Depends if you know the story.

Harvey dragged his coat off, chucking it over to Jim, rolled his sleeves up and walked towards the She-devil. “Listen here, you stuck-up imbecile, if you’re going to fight anyone, fight me!”

Harvey curled his hand and aimed for Barbara’s face, breaking her nose and sending blood dripping everywhere.

“Oh you little..!” She, in turn, sent a sharp kick to his right leg, before repeatedly whacking his head with her bruising fist. Harvey managed to grab one of her wrists, however this left his torso without a shield, the consequence being Barbara jumping, and kicking into him using both legs. Once he was down on the floor, the smaller student jumped on top of him and gave one last blow to Harvey’s leg, an audible snap making their audience cringe.

“Oh Eddie, look what you’ve done now!” Barbara fell back against the stone-clad wall, breathing heavily, as Edward and Jim rushed to Harvey’s aid.

“You… you… why?” Harvey coughed, spitting blood as he tried to speak, “Why did it have to end like this? Curse you, Kean and Nygma. I hope Pennyworth expels you both.” And with that, he passed out. While Jim nursed Harvey, Edward stood up, making a beeline for the woman whose fault this was.

“Get. Up.”

“Ooh, Ed. I do love a man with a bit of dominance,” Barbara used the wall as a crutch, while tending to her nose. “Come on then. Show me what you’ve got,” she beckoned using one hand.

Edward copies Harvey’s first move: but instead he aimed for her jaw. She spat blood onto the pavement, laughing simultaneously. Edward grabbed her head, digging his fingernails into her scalp, then punched into her ribcage. The wave of pain only making her wince and chuckle. He punched and he punched. The continuous laughter became more unnerving by the second, but Ed didn’t stop. He couldn’t.

“Pennyworth’s coming!” Jim yelled, snapping Edward out of the zone he was unable to break free from himself. He gasped, realising what he’d done. As Ed ran as far away as he could, Barbara sank down onto the floor. But the grin only got bigger.

“What in God’s name?! What happened?” Alfred exclaimed, followed by the Capulets and the Montagues. Each ran to their own.

“Barb- Barbara fought Harvey, because she wouldn’t leave Edward alone. Then, Edward fought her, and ran away, sir,” Jim gulped, knowing exactly what their headmaster was about to say.

“You were all warned. I am banning the Shakespeare club. Barbara and Edward are to be permanently excluded from the school,” he announced, “And would someone please ring an ambulance?”

* * *

An emergency meeting had been called, each of the Capulets to go to the Iceberg Lounge at 2PM exactly. Drinks were served by Jervis and Butch, as the students mourned the loss of Barbara. Well, her exclusion. Tabitha was properly crying, however, because her girlfriend had been badly injured and had to go in for ‘life-saving’ surgery. She was yet to hear back on that, Tabitha didn’t know if it had been a success or not. She wasn’t even allowed to wait in Gotham General because she was Barbara’s girlfriend and not immediate family.

“I’m sorry about Barbara,” Oswald almost made her jump. He sat next to her, handing over a glass of red wine.

“Uh, thanks,” she took a sip, and wiped at her ruined mascara, “It’s not your fault anyway. It’s Edward’s. I mean, I know she can be a little… difficult at times, but he almost killed her! He doesn’t know the trouble he’s in for next time I see that scrawny little coward’s stupid face.”

Oswald gulped; he didn’t want anything bad to happen to his boyfriend. And anyway, Barbara had absolutely crushed Harvey, all’s fair in love and war. At that moment, he could see Victor Fries walking over with Jerome in tow (literally dragging him by the sleeve). Wonderful. Like this day couldn’t be any better. That was he thought, that is until Victor moved over to Bridgit.

“Bridgit, I have decided that Oswald and Jerome will be the next power couple for the Capulets. I know he is upset over Barbara,” he wasn’t, “But I think it’s the right time. Would you mind telling him later, please?”

“Of course.”

* * *

“Well, that was a bizarre turn of events.”

Oswald felt higher than cloud nine, he softly smiled, looking over at Edward. It was something-o’clock in the morning, and Edward had stayed the night.

After the 2PM drinks, Oswald had got home an hour later, to find Ivy had brought Edward with her, and she promptly dumped him there so she could go out to a party that evening. The Van Dahls hadn’t come home that evening, Oswald couldn’t remember if they’d gone away on a three-day trip, or if there was a Christmas-do somewhere. It didn’t really matter. He and Edward had… _gone further_ in their relationship. And both would happily admit that it was pretty freaking good. “Yes, but I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Oswald said, kissing Ed’s cheek.

There was a short ringtone came from the bedside table, there was a text off Ivy: ‘ ** _Grace is back! I repeat, Grace is back!_** **_Victor and Bridgit are coming over too!_** ’

“Oh, crap! You’ve got to go! Grace is here, and so are the Capulets.” Both of them scrambled out of bed, throwing on whatever clothes they could find, and unfortunately not necessarily looking at whose was whose. Edward then realised something: he couldn’t go down the stairs to get out.

“I can’t get out. Grace is downstairs, and I don’t fancy jumping out the window,” he whispered with a harsh tone.

“If you go out of the window, there are little stepping things. You’ll be fine,” Oswald ushered him over, pointing outside.

“Alright. See you later,” they shared a brief kiss, and then Ed descended out - just in time too. Loud footsteps came from the hallway, as did equally loud voices. Ivy wasn’t wrong. There was a rapid knock on his door along with a yell of his name.

“Oswald, these people are here to see you,” Grace had swung the door open, spat that and then left before he could retort. Oswald looked at them, waiting for an explanation.

“You and Jerome are going to be the next power couple. It’s been decided for you, because we know you secretly like him,” Bridgit gave him a sickly sweet smile, expecting it to cheer Oswald up.

“You’ve got to be joking! I would than marry Edward Nygma!” he screamed at them. To be fair, he would rather marry Ed than anyone else anyway, but it helped that he could use Ed to help win an argument. Or not, in this case.

“NO!” Victor silenced him. “I’ve had enough of this. You _will_ get together with Jerome.”

“I’m going out, I suggest you leave before Grace yells at you,” Oswald pushed passed them an nearly ran out of the house. He and Ed needed to get out of Gotham soon, or else this place was going to drive him crazy.


	5. Act IV

“Jerome? What are you doing in the corner?” Ms. Mooney asked, after walking into her ‘empty’ classroom to find one Valeska crouched in a corner, possibly crying. His eyes were red, but there was no other evidence for this.

“Sorry, I just needed some time away from my… friends,” he sniffed, standing up and sitting at a desk, as his teacher sat opposite him.

“It’s alright. Do you want to talk about it? You know about the teacher-student confidentiality agreement,” she reminded him. Jerome nodded.

“I just- there’s someone I like. And I like them quite a bit. But the problem is everyone thinks I’m in love with Oswald - and I’m not. Now Victor wants me and him to be the next power couple. It’s not that Oswald isn’t attractive, it’s that he’s not my type.”

Jerome threw his head on the table, making a disturbingly loud clunk. Life wasn’t fair, true. But this was getting ridiculous. He knew this all sounded so petty, but he felt quite strongly about it. Unbeknownst to Jerome, Fish sat smiling, wondering what fresh hell this was. Never had so many of her students come to her with problems like this - she didn’t want to be someone who constantly was keeping secrets, but it was her job and Fish did care for her students.

“Ms. Mooney I need to talk t- what the hell are you doing here?!”

Oswald had burst in, he’d been looking for Edward to tell him about Fries’ plan, and Tabitha’s threats, but this was just getting better, wasn’t it?

“I swear I had nothing to do with it! You said it yourself, I’m not in love with you!” Jerome defended himself before scurrying out of the room and to… well, anywhere but here.

“Alright, now he’s gone, I have to tell you something,” he was beginning to hyperventilate, but calmed down after a few moments, “Fries and Pike want me and Jerome to be the next power couple of Gotham High, and I need a way out.”

Fish paused in a particularly thoughtful way, took a sip from her flask and drew a breath, “You could always tell your step-family that you are in love with Edward, and when they send you to Arkham for correction, I’ll pick you up in a van and instead of taking you to Arkham, I’ll take you to Metropolis. Edward could do the same.”

I think it’s fair to say that Fish had been thinking about this a lot in the last few days. I can’t even decide my favourite colour in that amount of time. Also, the blueprints at her home would point to this. Plus, she’d already nicked a police truck to do this. It’s safe to say Fish Mooney was prepared to pull off a heist. She reminds me of a real-life teacher of mine… sorry, let’s get back on track.

“That’s actually quite good. Okay, I’m going to go home and do that. And I’ll send Edward a text message explaining the situation. Please be on the way,” and he fled out similarly to the way Jerome did.

Ms. Mooney sighed, and spoke into an empty room, “How are they all getting in when the school is closed for Christmas? And, how do they know I’m here?”

* * *

As he reached the front door of his house, Oswald felt a little bit nervous. What if this went wrong? What if he really did end up in Arkham? At least he wouldn’t have to be Cinderella to his step-family anymore. Oswald had already sent a text to Fries explaining that he had agreed to the terms, and had sent a message to Edward telling him about the plan. If only he had realised there was no reception and the message hadn’t actually sent…

Now or never.

“Grace!” Oswald shouted through the house, after slamming the door shut. “We are in the front room! If you want us, come here,” she screeched back. Oswald put on his biggest grin, paraded in to see Grace, Charles and Sasha draped across fancy sofas sipping at tea from the china he wasn’t even allowed to touch.

“Hello, fools. I’m coming out. I am gay!” he outstretched his arms like he was on stage and people were applauding and throwing roses at him.

“Ha, knew it! But poor Oswald, you know what this means don’t you?” Sasha laughed.

Within five minutes, a phone call had been made and a knock was heard at the door. Fish Mooney escorted Oswald into the back of the van and he was free from it all. It was over. It was finally over.


	6. Act V

She couldn’t find him anywhere. Lee had been looking for Edward for the past day. Despite the divide of sides in the classroom (and out of school, for that matter), she would never forgive herself if he didn’t find out that Oswald had been taken away quickly. But if they did this quick enough, Ed may be able to do something about it. The final place for Lee to look in was the school science labs: bingo! (It’s always in the last place you look, isn’t it?)

“There you are! Edward, we have a problem!” Lee skid over to him, barely escaping slipping on the shiny, shiny flooring.

“What is it?” he asked, fairly carefree.

“It’s Oswald,” he dropped the glass beaker, his eyes widening by the second, “His step-family found out that he was gay, and now he’s being sent away! If we’re quick enough, we might be able to interfere. Come, quickly!”

Lee grabbed Ed’s hand, and he eagerly followed. There was a taxi waiting for them, setting off the second they got in (he was incredibly prepared). Edward was completely speechless, his love was gone. Trying to ignore the tears building, Ed reached into his pocket, took out his phone, and began to construct a message to his parents, explaining that he was running away because he was in love with Oswald and couldn’t leave him to suffer in Arkham Asylum. And now the race was on: would they get there in time? Depends how well you think you know the story...

* * *

“I can’t believe they took him away,” Jerome mourned. He stood next to the Arkham Asylum gates with his brother, Jeremiah. “I mean, that could have happened to us. Any of us,” he threw his arms in the air for dramatic effect.

“A truly tragic ending. I wouldn’t wish this upon my worst enemy. That means you, Jerome,” Jeremiah finally looked up at his twin, rather than the floor, “I know you love Bruce… please don’t take him away from me. He is my world.”

“I’m sorry. I’m trying to fall out of love, so you can be left, you know.”

The screech of tyres alerted them both, their necks turning to fast it almost gave them whiplash. The moment Jerome could see that Edward Nygma, of all people, was in that taxi, he began yelling, “You! After everything that has happened, this is the cruelest of all the jokes. Don’t you dare come here to mock us! You useless-”

“I am not here to mock you. I’m here to try and save him. I love him, for Christ’s sake!” Edward replied, his eyes red from the obvious crying. The four students faced each other, coming to a silent agreement that no one was there to disrespect anyone.

A big black van approached. Either, they could make a huge mistake here and hold up the wrong van, or all four of them could get it right. Edward couldn’t imagine getting Oswald back, because he was trying to prepare himself for the inevitable outcome, but he would never forgive himself if he didn’t at least try and get the man he loved back.

“Hands up!” Lee screamed at the driver, pointing a gun (that appeared from freaking nowhere) at them, only to lower it almost immediately. “Ms. Mooney? Why are… why are you… I don’t get it.”

The door swung open, revealing their English teacher in the full security get-up (she later told them it had been nicked from the Drama department; Mr Galavan owed her a no-questions-asked favour). “Do you really think I would let anyone take any of my students away? Hm? I care more than you think, now, Edward, come with me.” She beckoned him forwards, leading him around the back of the truck, and unlocked the doors.

“Oswald? Oh my god, Oswald you’re alright!” Edward exclaimed. Oswald was slumped, almost falling asleep, that was until his boyfriend climbed in and began hugging and kissing him.

“Ed, I need to breathe,” he laughed, pecking the other’s cheek. “We faked the whole thing, I needed to get away from everything quickly, and Ms. Mooney helped. I sent you a text. Didn’t you get it,” Oswald interrogated.

Both of them reached into their pockets, retrieved their phones and sighed happily. “You had no reception. Idiot.”

“Yes, but I’m your idiot,” Oswald smiled. The two of them came out of the van, hand in hand, to the cheers of their friends, who were incredibly thankful that no one had been sent to Arkham Asylum.

“We need to get going,” Fish interrupted, “If we don’t leave now, it will be hard to later on. Say your goodbyes, boys.” Lee, Jerome and Jeremiah were very obviously perplexed by this, knowing very little about what was going on - Ed explained it to them in the space of about five minutes, which was impressive for him.

“So, you’re leaving?” Jerome asked. He wasn’t clueless, but he was slightly upset. He enjoyed Oswald’s company.

“Yes, and none of you can ever tell anyone the truth about this. Okay?” Edward clarified.

Once hugs had been given, and goodbyes had been said, the two star-crossed lovers got into the back of Ms. Mooney’s car. Just as they set off, a new blanket of snow began to fall from the clouds above.

“Merry Christmas,” Lee whispered, waving to the car in the near-distance, “Enjoy your journey, and I hope you find the happiness you’ve been pretending to have. For there never was a story of more woe, than this of Juliet and her Romeo.”

“I knew it sounded familiar!”

* * *

The last three walked to the front of the stage, as they were joined by the rest of the cast. Each bowed as applause rang through the theatre. They even got a standing ovation for their efforts.

“Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!” chanted the cast members. The red velvet curtains fell, and the crew surrounded them, each offering a congratulations.

Mr. Pennyworth, the real headteacher, smiled. He’d finally put on a worthy play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this all the way through. I would like to wish you a fantastic Christmas and an incredible New Year!


End file.
